and i imagined Him waiting
at the altar for me
ring ready, priest set
bridal train on queue
Everyone waiting
for me.

While i was
out and about
wedding gown stained with booze
and cigarette burns,
blood from when i lost my
virginity
the split from when that porn cd
cracked and tore it
I couldn't wash the guilt off my face
my makeup was a mark up of
every second i spent in gossip. lies
especially the ones i told
against that girl I was jealous of
jealousy. I was full of it
yet He waited.

He waited long enough for me to -
two-time him with
prostituting my body on facebook and hi5
while i showed off the engagement
ring He gave me - mocked Him

He waited for me till now
and I stood Him up
surely my gown was too stained,
my "mark-up" too obvious
...


so i hung around the sanctuary
till all were gone
and He came out - disappointed,
head hung low in sorrow
with the look on His face,
I wondered how He could do this -
again and again



as i rushed to Him, kneeling
my tears smeared my "mark-up"
and I looked even uglier

His face lit up and
he smiled that smile that
told me He still loved me -
We'd still wed, not today
maybe tomorrow ...
when i was ready
ready for real love.

Nwando Onyeabo